


I'll Look After You

by Fleetwoodinflames



Series: We Write Our Own Story [4]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Watersports
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2015-10-18
Packaged: 2018-04-26 06:48:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4994338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fleetwoodinflames/pseuds/Fleetwoodinflames
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’d spend eternity down at this man’s feet, take it all, roll in it, drown in it – the scent and the spill. All of it.  He wondered if the captain truly knew to what lengths he would go. If he knew that all Khan wanted truly was this – to be a king at his captain’s feet.  His lips had followed his last thought before he rose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. He's No One's Pawn

**Author's Note:**

> Well, the story's back. Some ideas take hold and just won't let go. I wanted it to be done, I really did.
> 
> So we pick up during our boys' marital bliss and go from there.

Kirk burst through the door. Well, he would have if the doors opened on hinges rather than slid open with a swish. Waiting for it to open wide enough for him to pour through took a little wind out of his sails, but the effect was the same. So instead, he stood, PADD in hand, vibrating at the door until he could launch himself like a bullet from a Colt in an old western movie (McCoy loves those). His intended target heard the first finger-touch on the keypad outside and turned to greet his husband from the kitchen. Good thing, because he got no further than that before he had an armful of James Kirk. His hand quickly grabbed James around his bottom as Kirk jumped into his arms and wrapped his legs around the Augment, burying his face in his neck and still trembling.

“They gave her back! She’s mine again; she’s mine again! And the mission is mine, and you’re mine. Look!” He reached around Nien and grabbed the PADD that had fallen, forgotten onto the counter. “Look – the orders! And my manifest; you’re on it, right here. They even got your name right!”

Noonien took the PADD looked down disbelievingly. He hadn’t slept for a week while he and Kirk waited for this, and there it was: 

Kirk, Noonien Singh/Contractor/Starfleet/USS Enterprise.

Tears sprang into his eyes. They were going. Space. Together. They had been talking about it for months, what it would be like out there together. What they would do if Starfleet only assigned Kirk – they’d prepared for the best and worst outcomes. Looks as though the best was in store for them. Kirk grabbed Nien’s face and kissed him hard, legs still wound around his waist, and this time Nien nearly dropped the PADD.

It wasn’t until dinner that the Augment thought to ask, “Who else?”

“Hm? Oh, well if you think you’re possessive…”

“Kati, then.”

“Chekov’s going to be a wery heppy spaceman.” Kirk nailed it.

The Augment snorted and nearly choked on his dinner. Kirk giggled right along with him.

“Otto’s on the manifest. Everyone who asked for it got it.” Kirk smiled across the table.

“Joaquin wouldn’t change his mind.”

“I know, we all tried to talk to him.”

“He wants to make it in his own way, on his own terms.”

“Doesn’t mean you’ll never see him again. He loves you; he loves you all too much for that.”

“I know, but that pain is sharp. Already I feel like a piece of me is missing just knowing he will not be there.”

Kirk got up and rounded the table. Noonien pushed his chair back knowing his husband’s default comfort position. Kirk stood above him just for a second before straddling his legs and sitting down in his lap.

Kirk sighed and wrapped his arms around Nien’s neck, kissed the top of his head, and laid his cheek down on the soft hair. “It’s different now; he’s awake, alive – not a pawn in anyone’s game. He’ll be there for you when you’re out there, and he’ll be here when you get back.”

Noonien responded by clutching him tighter and breathing him in. When he gathered himself, he mouthed gently up Kirk’s neck. “You will be there.”

“Mmmhmm.”

“That will do nicely.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because I plan to take you on every. Single. Solid. Surface of that ship. Her captain will be mine – everywhere.”

“Oh my God, that’s hot.”

He stood and lifted his captain along with him. “I suppose a last hurrah is in order.”

Dinner was forgotten at that point.

That night the captain dreamed.

***  
  
The boy begged for food for those he considered in his charge. He knew cruelty, but he didn’t know the extent of men’s cruelty.

He’d heard through the grapevine that some of Kodo’s soldiers would use the children for odd jobs – information, running messages, chores, and the like that was most of the work. But that wasn’t all of the work. Unfortunately no one talked about the other work. And in this time – no one much noticed if some didn’t return or just weren’t themselves.

He burned and bled and felt the weight of the soldier above him. His cheek stung. The abrasions rubbed back and forth over the rough fabric of the mattress in time with the man’s thrusts. He tried to scream when the jet of spunk burned his insides. He screamed into the mattress when the piss soaked his cuts. Dripped hot and wet inside of him and all over him – branding and searing every laceration.  
  
They ate that night, he and his charges. The meal was a waste. His shoulders shook and he tried to squeeze back the tears.  
  
***

Noonien woke to the smell of sweat and fear. The mattress shook.  The dreams had been fewer and farther apart for them both these days. Didn’t mean they were gone.

“James, wake up. Come home to me. Come on, come on back, Love. James!”

The captain’s face stayed pressed into the pillows, and he struggled and moaned, but he didn’t lift his head.  
  
“James!” Nien grabbed him by the hair and rolled him over, then moved back and continued calling until his husband woke with a yell. They and groped for each other in the dark then slotted together as they had since the beginning – since they woke him. It was old and familiar and everything Jim needed. He held on as if their life depended on it. “I am here.”  
  
“Ev – Everyday?”

“Everyday.” It was automatic – those words. He didn’t have to think about them anymore. That’s what they were for each other. Everyday. “Will you - ?”

“No! No, baby. Not yet.”

“All Right. Sleep then.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Then lie awake with me. We will keep the bad at bay together.”

 


	2. I'll Take Up Arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’d spend eternity down at this man’s feet, take it all, roll in it, drown in it – the scent and the spill. All of it. He wondered if the captain truly knew to what lengths he would go. If he knew that all Khan wanted truly was this – to be a king at his captain’s feet. His lips had followed his last thought before he rose.

The captain was a great captain in part because his crew, his people came first. He was selfless to a fault. That fault was his lack of self-preservation, both in body and in mind. Perhaps it was like Newton’s law. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Kirk’s selfless acts in the face of danger tended to be and an equal act of danger to himself. And he would power through any pain, ignore any hurt – tell himself he could will it away. There was certainly enough going on these days that he could be distracted from his pain – any of it. There was so much to do that neither he nor Noonien – any of the crew – had a moment to spare a breath.

Only after shifts, did the captain find himself flat on his back on nearly every horizontal surface, as well as pressed against several vertical ones. Took about three weeks to cover the bridge deck, the rec deck, and more than a few staterooms. They’d never tell Scotty when and where in Engineering, but they think he might have an idea since Kirk may have left something behind and Noonien might have noticed but chosen to leave be. Small reminders that the captain belonged to him did not go amiss.

And the nightmares stayed away for both of them. They were probably too exhausted for them – well Jim was, and Nien was sated with his lot. He had his husband, many of his family, and his work was creative – fulfilling.

But it wasn’t forgotten – that last nightmare – not for Jim and not for Noonien. Hidden away, but it slithered out and wrapped itself around Jim’s thoughts when he least expects.

His husband was in no way unawares of his captain's distraction, and was intuitive enough to know it started that night. But for the strength of them both, neither truly wanted to face that planet-sized demon. Not for weakness, but each man would do anything to spare the other the pain of that place. They’d power through. James would, and he’d bring Nien with him.

Eventually, Nien could no longer abide James’s silence. He cracked one night, after many nights of James looking on the cusp of saying something; he surmised its intimacy – whatever it was.

So it was with dinner and wine that Nien would get his answers.

“James, whatever it is, I am ready and willing, always, to hear you.”

“Whatdoya mean?”

“You have been on the verge of saying something for several days now, and before that, you were preoccupied. I can understand the preoccupation with all that is happening around us. But I cannot abide this any longer. You must either speak to me about whatever you need, or you must tell me that you need more time with it. I am all right with either answer, but I’m not all right with none – nothing – hiding and pretending, I cannot tell when you know that I can.”

Jim lowered his head and looked up through his lashes. “Mmm, my husband, my shrink.”

“If you wish. If that is your need, but I do not think it is. However, I do not know your need. I need you to tell me.”

“Sometimes, I wish you could beat around the bush a bit.”

“You do enough of that for the both of us.”

“I know. I know. Gimme a minute. I want something – annnd... And I think you’ve wanted it, but you’ve never said.”

“So it is something, but you want me to share in whatever it is by telling me that I have a desire for this thing too.”

“No! Yes. I’m not trying to turn it around on you, but I think it makes it easier to ask for if I think it’s mutual. I know it is. And I know you’d never ask me. So I’m going to because I want this. Nien, I want more of it, more of you. More. Shit, this is hard. Fine! I want you to come, and then I want you to – to release on me - in me.”

“Release?”

“Come on, I know you know what I mean. Yes! I want you to – to keep going.”

“Oh James, and you called me the depraved one.”

“Shut up, I know it’s crossed your mind.”

Khan stretched back in his chair and laced his fingers behind his head affecting an air of languid sex and nonchalance. “And so I haveit has.”

“I’ve never forgotten – when you said you want your smell. That nearly did me in. I think I almost expected it then. Nghh. Jesus, just thinking about that first time. But you didn’t, and I didn’t think anything more about. You didn’t say anything. Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I don’t know. Didn’t seem import –. “

“Everything. Give me everything. That. Now. Please?”

“Even now you continue to surprise me. How can I refuse such a pretty plea?”

“You can’t,” Jim winked and licked his lips, wetting them, “And you don’t want to anyway.”

“Very true.” Nien proved the truthfulness of his statement when he stood and loomed over his younger husband. He put his hands on Kirk’s shoulders and kissed his shiny mouth.

Kirk sagged beneath him in relief. “I swear I’d rather face monsters than…”

“…than talk about how you want me to take you.”

“When you put it that way.”

“I thought so.” Then Khan stared at him quizzically.

“What?”

“I need something from you first.”

“What?”

“I need you to tell me this is okay. That you are. You wouldn’t talk about the nightmare, and I will not force you.”

“I’m okay; I’m good. This is you, and I want you.”

It wasn’t a lie. He wanted it all and if a demon went down as collateral damage – then so much the better.

“And I want a shower, with you because it was a long day – and it’s been a hell of a week.”

“Really James, the pun was more than unnecessary.”

“Come on, I had to work it in.”

“Oh dear God.”

He dissolved into giggles while Noonien cleared their dishes. James stood and put his arms around Nien, encouraging him to put down what could be left and attend to more important things. Dishes will always be. Both men knew that life was infinitely more curt and more precious.

And so they went together to attend to the precious things.

In the bedroom, Khan held him and breathed in deeply. “Mmm, I can have you.”

“Oh absolutely.”

“Let’s make that shower worth it then.”

Kirk stepped back and moved to take off his shirt, but Khan took his wrists in his hands. “Stop! You will not move, please.”

Kirk gulped, “All right then.”

“Good.”

Khan stepped into him and slowly lifted Kirk’s hands above his head, then divested him of his tunic and t-shirt. Nien stepped back just a bit to admire. And he didn’t tell the captain to lower his hands. This was rather – nice. He ran the back of his fingertips down Kirk’s arms skirts over his nipples following the path with his eyes ‘pectoralis major’ and swept ‘abdominal oblique’ inward ‘rectus abdominus’ cataloging by name, by touch, by hand each curve as he had a thousand times before.

“Place your hands behind your head and lace your fingers. Do not take our eyes off me.”

Kirk wide-eyed nodded quickly. This – whatever this was, was a new thing. And that’s saying something considering their appetites for one another. He wouldn’t question what would happen next; he trusted his husband to be all that he was and give him all that he needed. That didn’t mean the anticipation of what was to come – the not knowing – was not fucking killing him right now.

Khan stepped back and turned around. He made of show of slowly stripping himself. He could feel Kirk’s eyes watching and the heat radiating from his body. Kirk’s cock stirred and throbbed in his pants.

After folding and stowing his clothes, he stepped back to the captain. His hands went to the Kirk’s trousers; he flicked them open and pushed them down – followed them down, trailing his nose, his cheek, and lips over Kirk’s body until he was on his knees in front of his man. He quickly removed shoes and socks, lifted the captain’s legs, divested him of those trousers, and threw them aside without sparing a glance. He leaned into Kirk’s pubis and mouthed at the hair, licked up the vein of Kirk’s hardened cock, and smeared the precum leaking over his lips and cheek, feeling the cold tack. He nosed into his inguen and slowly swiped his tongue ‘adductor brevis, adductor magnus’ all while taking great, deep breaths in through his nose, suffusing every sense with his husband.

“Legs apart.” Kirk obeyed, albeit shakily. The feeling of hot mouth and hands was one thing. Coupled with the emotion and the view, it brought the pull in his gut, the already overwhelming emotions to a whole ‘nother level.

Still on his knees, Nien ran his hands down the back of Kirk’s calves and kissed down his cock. Stooped lower and raised his head to suck each of his testicles into his mouth, and caressed them with his tongue, pulling with gentle suction. He released them and went further down, bringing his hands up, thumbs stroking the creases of Kirk’s thighs; stretching to lick into his taint and feel the muscles there beneath the skin ‘Bulbospongiosus, ischiocavernosus’ mouthing, licking and chewing on the tender skin between his legs. He’d spend eternity down at this man’s feet, take it all, roll in it, drown in it – the scent and the spill. All of it. He wondered if the captain truly knew to what lengths he would go. If he knew that all Khan wanted truly was this – to be a king at his captain’s feet. His lips had followed his last thought before he rose.

“I want you on the bed, on your back with your hands raised above your head, James.”

The captain moved, but didn’t drop his hands. He wasn’t told. He raised one knee and then the next onto the bed, then laid himself down on his back, unfolded his hands and slid them up until the backs hit the headboard. Khan watched the show; his husband was nothing if not a showman. Every move sensuous and deliberate – even turning himself over was done in such a way as to show the pull of muscle beneath skin. His mouth watered when Kirk drew up his legs and spread his knees wide.

After an amount of time, Khan could not discern (that tended to happen in present company), he made his way to the bed and kneeled between his husband’s legs, bracketing his body between his arms– kissing, suckling, but not marking. That was saved – it bothered him to see marks on that golden body now. They’d both sustained so much damage these last few years – inside and out. There was just something wrong seeing mottled bruises healing on his captain’s skin. “I’m going to open you, take you, come inside of you, and you will drink me in.”

“Fuck, I... The time I wasted – if I’d only known you had a dirty mouth like that earlier.”

“I refuse to question a single event that brought us here.”

“You have a point. Continue dirty talking to me, sir.”

He growled at the address. “Now hush.”

Khan reached beneath Kirk’s pillow and withdrew the vial of his preferred oil, flicked the cap and dribbled its contents over Kirk’s balls. He followed the slick as it trailed down to his crack before he reached to smear it between his cheeks. “I’m going to open you and drown you in me, my captain.”

“I am now aren’t – huh! Aren’t I?”

Khan sighed in reticence. “Quiet never suited you, I suppose.” He flicked one finger over the rim. “Mmm, You are tight, my captain. Tell me have you no man to service you.”

“Oh God. Been very busy around here.”

“Oh dear, sir. I apologize, I’ve been neglectful in my duties. You ought to have called me.” He slowly fucked a first finger and then a second in and out, massaging the soft walls inside.

“Fucking those fingers – Jesus, how do they. Ahhh!”

Khan withdrew his hand and lined up. As he pushed in, he bent down to suck and bite Kirk’s nipples, making his dick flex up, seeking touch. Khan pressed onto Kirk, rubbed his rippled abdomen stimulating Kirk; then he found his rhythm and pounded into him hard, angling his hips just so that Kirk would come apart from the inside out, and he did. Arching his back, he came between their bodies with a shout. Khan looked between their bodies and gave a last thrust, emptying himself inside and looking at the spend between them.

Maybe Kirk’s dream came back to him, or maybe his subconscious knew what was to come. He cried out and slumped back into the mattress, trembling and whispering, “No, no, no, no.” Over and over.

“James! James!” Khan pulled out quickly and moved off to the side as they did for one another’s nightmares. “James, come back. I didn’t see it. I am sorry!”

The captain turned his head – hands still stretched out above him and stared through Khan.

Khan dropped his head, his eyes welling instantly, “Jim, drop your hands.” The captain did and slowly returned to himself.

“I. I need –“

“Let me help you to the bathroom.”

“No! No. I’m. I’ll – “

“Jim, I will not touch you. I will go first. Follow me in.”

“All – All right.”

They got into the bathroom, and Khan started the shower.

“Get out. Please.”

“I cannot do that.”

“I said GET OUT!”

“I will not. I will separate myself from you. I will move to the wall and sit with my hands behind my back. But I will not leave you alone like this, Jim.”

James sighed and sank to the floor under the spray grasping his head between his hands. Khan died – it killed him just a little – not moving, but he would give time and space for this.

Twenty minutes later, Khan rose and retrieved a towel and change of clothes for Jim and dressed. He re-entered the bathroom, reached over, and shut off the water. Kneeling an arm’s length away he held out the towel. “James, please.”

The captain looked up for the first time since he got in, “Kay. I’m o-. I can do this. I’ll be out.”

“All right. But if you decide to lock the door, know that I will open it anyhow, regardless of the damage done.”

“Okay, okay – I won’t lock it.”

He trembled violently, caught himself on the sink and sat down on the toilet. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t. I’ll be here.”

When the bathroom door slid open, Kirk stood watching his husband. Khan realized Jim wouldn’t come to the bed until he moved from it, so he stood. Kirk knew, but he couldn’t help it.

“I’m sorry. I want you here, near me. I just…”

“Not to me you are not – never. I will guard.” 

“What?”

“I will stand at your door, and I will guard your night – your sleep.” 

“You can’t stand there all night.”

“Can’t I? What would I not do, had you need?” 

“I don’t –“

“That is because there is nothing. And tonight you require a sentinel, and so I am – yours.” 

“Please, just – that’s crazy.”

“Is it? Where were you when I slept – when I called, when I needed?” Kirk, never one to boast was silent. “You were my guardian, and you were guardian to my people. And when we woke, you labored tirelessly at your post even before you and I were something, until we could take up arms ourselves.

“We were always something, Nien.”

“James, Let me be your relief. Let me stand watch over your night.”


End file.
